Few things are more frustrating than doing everything right and still not seeing the results you hoped for, especially if you are unemployed and looking for a job.
Last year, I sat in that exact position, spending several months applying for jobs. For one position, I submitted a tailored resume and cover letter, answered a pre-screen industry-based question set, attended a virtual introductory interview, an additional formal virtual interview, and a full-day in-person interview, which entailed meeting with each team member 1-on-1 in back-to-back meetings.
I did everything right. I sent follow-up emails when appropriate, conducted due diligence on the company and its employees, dressed professionally, and handled the interviews to the best of my ability.
This extensive process was for one position, and ultimately, I was rejected. It felt personal.
I put in so much effort and time, only to be left with a less-than-100-word email with no true explanation for the rejection.
I searched deep within myself to follow up with gratitude, professionalism, and sincerity.
It was a reminder that rejection is only one of many difficult conversations we encounter throughout our careers. Resigning from a role, receiving constructive feedback during a performance review, asking for a raise, being laid off, or receiving no response after submitting dozens of applications all test our professionalism in different ways.
These conversations are opportunities to build professional resilience and ultimately move us closer to careers that better align with our values, strengths, and long-term goals.
As recruiters, we are often at the center of these conversations. We see offers accepted, offers declined, promotions celebrated, resignations submitted, and candidates turned away. While these moments can feel deeply personal, they rarely are. Behind every difficult conversation are business logistics, timing, misaligned values, competing priorities, and so much more that has nothing to do with us or our worth.
How we navigate these conversations shapes our professional reputation and can determine our future opportunities. Each discussion offers a choice to react emotionally or respond professionally.
In this article, we will explore some common difficult workplace conversations and offer advice on how to approach these discussions with confidence and poise.
Radio Silence
There is nothing more frustrating in the job market than investing time into an application and hearing absolutely nothing. Unfortunately, silence has become a defining characteristic of modern recruiting.
In a world with “one-click apply,” it’s becoming common for job-searchers to apply to hundreds of roles, which has resulted in too many applications for humans to review and therefore the introduction of AI reviewers.
This trickle-down can often result in radio silence, whether you just missed the cut or were a dozen qualifications away. While you can’t control whether someone responds, you can control how you respond to the silence.
- Use this silence to continue due diligence on the company and use this information to inform your follow-up efforts.
- Always be sure to wait an appropriate amount of time before reaching out, which can range depending on the role but is often around the 2-week mark.
- Send a follow-up email inquiring about the role and your application.
- Connect with employees on LinkedIn and reach out with curiosity rather than frustration. Express your interest in the role and hearing about their experience at the company.
In some cases, you had a first interview or introductory call and still be left with no response. You can treat this situation by following the same steps with a bit more urgency and directness.
Professional resilience means refusing to let unanswered emails determine your professional self-worth.
Rejection
Rejection feels personal. The most natural assumption after hearing “no” is, “I wasn’t good enough.”
Hiring is rarely that simple.
There are countless reasons a candidate may not receive an offer. Some may be as straightforward as another candidate having more experience, but oftentimes it’s much less direct.
Companies may have internal referrals, budget changes, shifting roles, and desired qualifications that were unspecified. For many companies, a cultural fit is a huge consideration that is explicitly qualitative and often determined on brief interactions.
Instead of viewing rejection as a statement about your value, try reframing it as a statement about alignment. The company isn’t saying you lack talent or potential. They are saying that, presently, your background, experience, or working style wasn’t the right fit for what they needed. It’s an essential distinction.
In the same way you evaluate a company’s alignment with you, employers are evaluating whether you align with their team, needs, and long-term goals.
Alignment goes both ways, and responding with grace becomes much easier when you remember that you probably wouldn’t want to build your career at an organization that didn’t genuinely believe you were the right person for the role.
The only part of rejection you can control is your response.
- Always thank your interviewer in person and with a follow-up email.
- Although many companies do not provide feedback, it’s best practice to request this information to inform your future interviews.
- Connect with any relevant personnel on LinkedIn.
- Never burn a bridge.
Every successful individual has experienced many failures and rejections. What sets them apart is refusing to let it define their confidence or discourage them from pursuing the opportunity that best aligns with them.
Advocating for Yourself
Discussing compensation is a challenging and uncomfortable topic.
First, you should determine the compensation that you ideally need and what your market value is.
Second, negotiation isn’t greed. It’s information sharing and advocating for yourself.
There is nothing awkward, uncomfortable, or shameful about knowing market value, your desired compensation range, and letting your potential employer know about these facts.
If the opportunity presents itself, let your employer make the first offer when possible. Requesting that they make their most competitive offer is a strong strategy when it comes to this conversation.
It is also important to learn how to turn a phrase when discussing salary. Instead of saying, “I need more than that,” you can say, “Based on the responsibilities of the role and my experience, I am seeking something closer to…” Instead of saying, “That’s not enough,” you can say, “Based on my previous experience, a competitive salary for me would start at X.”
Candidates who negotiate respectfully often earn more, and not just because they asked for it, but because they came prepared.
Ultimately, when it comes to compensation, it’s always important to remember that the number is never the full piece. There is so much more to consider when unpacking the total value of an offer (read: Unpacking The Total Value of an Offer).
Leaving Well
Every career change involves leaving something behind. Seeking promotions, better opportunities, location changes, and more challenging roles are just some valid reasons you may seek resignation in a role.
Resignation isn’t quitting; it’s managing your professional relationship.
- Always provide proper notice through the company’s expected policies and procedures.
- Express gratitude for the role and its place in your career.
- Finishing relevant projects and supporting your transition out of the role may be appropriate in certain cases.
However enticing it may be to Irish Goodbye your previous colleagues once you’ve secured a new role, fight the urge.
The way you choose to leave a role will stick with your colleagues, and it is important to treat this goodbye with thought as they may turn into valuable connections in the future.
A simple email to your colleagues, wishing them the best, expressing gratitude for your working relationship, and keeping the door open for the future can go a long way.
Leaving with positivity takes a small extra effort, especially when your last two weeks are often remembered longer than anything else.
Conversations that Build Careers
Asking for a raise, getting laid off, and navigating performance reviews are just some of the other kinds of workplace conversations you may face.
Whatever the conversation may be, approaching it with these principles will ensure professionalism and your best effort:
- Composure – regulate your emotions before responding
- Curiosity – ask questions before making assumptions
- Clarity – communicate directly and honestly
- Courtesy – remain respectful regardless of the outcome
- Consistency – remember your reputation is built over these interactions
No one enjoys rejection, or looks forward to resigning from a solid position, or asking for more money, or getting laid off. Rejection builds resilience, resignation expands your network, negotiation strengthens your confidence.
These moments are not interruptions to a successful career, but rather part of one, and how we handle them says as much about ourselves as the work we produce.
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